Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Randomize
