remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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