Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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