oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize