After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
