You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
