Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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