some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
