idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
