if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
