Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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