elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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