if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
