another moral hangover. fuck.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Success! We fucked roommates!
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