I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
