I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
