Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize