Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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