To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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