Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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