OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
only if we run a train.
done.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
