Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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