She said her name was "party"
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
