Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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