I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
