i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
