Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
His hands were made for my vagina.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
