one might say we're banned from that church
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
