I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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