Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
it glows. i had to have it.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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