the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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