also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize