So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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