i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize