I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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