There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
