Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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