So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
