Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize