Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
