Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
