Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
