ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
