I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
