dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
