So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
