I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
