i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
