He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
