You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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