It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
