you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
