Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
