i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
