dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
