She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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