remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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