let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
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