We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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