Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
