I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
